The Journey to Finding Myself: A Story of Self-Discovery

The Fussy Journal

By Rabiya Nizam

Greetings, dear readers! I’m Rabs, and today I invite you to delve into my musings. Welcome to my eclectic journal, a space where I unravel the unpredictable journey of life and explore how to cultivate an unshakeable spirit amidst the whirlwind of chaos.

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at you, doesn’t it? One moment, you’re dreaming of a bright future, and the next, you’re standing in the middle of what feels like a battlefield—bruised, broken, and wondering how the heck you got there. If you’ve ever felt lost, like the world was caving in, like your own reflection was a stranger, then hey, welcome to the club.

I’ve been through it all—failed relationships that shattered my trust, an education that left me questioning my worth, and a career path that felt more like an uphill climb on ice. Somewhere along the way, I found myself slipping into the dark abyss of clinical depression, anxiety attacks knocking on my door like unwanted visitors. But here’s the thing—I never stayed down for too long. No matter how many times life kicked me, I kept getting back up, sometimes crawling, sometimes limping, but always moving forward.

And that’s why I’m here, writing this blog. Because self-discovery isn’t some fancy concept reserved for people who have it all figured out. It’s messy, painful, and sometimes downright ridiculous. But it’s also freeing, empowering, and worth every bit of effort.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no one wakes up one day and suddenly “finds themselves.” I used to think that one day, I’d have an aha! moment, and everything would fall into place. 

Spoiler alert: that never happened!

 Instead, I realized that self-discovery is a lifelong process. We change. Constantly. The person I was five years ago wouldn’t recognize the person I am today. And that’s okay. The real magic happens when you stop waiting for a perfect version of yourself to appear and start embracing who you are, flaws and all.

Step 2: Let Go of the Need for Approval

Here’s a hard pill to swallow: not everyone will support your journey. Some people will criticize you, doubt you, or straight-up try to bring you down. I’ve been there. I know how much it stings to feel like the people around you don’t believe in you.


But at the end of the day, your life is yours. Not your parents’, not your friends’, not society’s. If you keep living for other people’s validation, you’ll never truly find yourself. The moment I stopped letting external voices dictate my self-worth, I started to breathe easier. I started making choices that felt right instead of ones that looked right to others.

Step 3: Reframe Failure as Redirection

Oh, failure. My old, unwelcome friend. I’ve failed at relationships, at school, at jobs, at personal goals. And for the longest time, I let those failures define me. I saw them as proof that I wasn’t good enough. But you know what? That was a load of crap.

Failure isn’t a dead-end; it’s a detour. Every failure has taught me something. Sometimes it showed me what wasn’t meant for me. Other times, it pushed me toward something better. I won’t pretend that failing doesn’t suck—it does. But if you can shift your perspective, you’ll realize that failure is often just life nudging you in the right direction.

Step 4: Find What Makes Your Soul Come Alive

When you’ve been through a lot, it’s easy to lose yourself. Somewhere along the way, I forgot what made me happy. I forgot what made me me. So I started experimenting—trying new hobbies, meeting new people, stepping out of my comfort zone. And little by little, I started rediscovering what makes my soul light up.

Maybe for you, it’s painting, writing, traveling, or dancing like a maniac in your room. Whatever it is, don’t let it slip away. Hold onto the things that make you feel alive, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else.

Step 5: Be Kind to Yourself (Seriously, You Need It)

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been hard on myself, I’d be a millionaire by now. It’s easy to beat yourself up, to focus on what’s wrong, to dwell on the past. But self-discovery isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about understanding yourself.
Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself the way you would to a dear friend. Celebrate small wins. Give yourself grace on bad days. Remember that healing and growth aren’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world. Other days, you’ll feel like a mess. Both are valid. Both are part of the process.

Final Thoughts: Keep Moving, Keep Growing

I don’t have all the answers. I’m still figuring things out as I go. But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that self-discovery isn’t about reaching a final destination—it’s about embracing the journey. So if you’re feeling lost, if life has knocked you down one too many times, if you’re struggling to find yourself, just know this: You’re not alone. And you will find your way. I’m still walking this path, and if you are too, then welcome. 

“Let’s figure this out together.”