{"id":3849,"date":"2025-06-12T13:46:34","date_gmt":"2025-06-12T13:46:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/?p=3849"},"modified":"2025-06-12T13:49:32","modified_gmt":"2025-06-12T13:49:32","slug":"why-do-we-let-others-judge-us-how-it-damages-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/articles\/why-do-we-let-others-judge-us-how-it-damages-us\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do We Let Others Judge Us & How It Damages Us?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/span>\"\"
\n

The Fuzzy Journal<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Rabiya Nizam<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Hey, it\u2019s Rabs<\/strong> here\u2014back again with another deep dive into the messy, frustrating, and sometimes downright hilarious world of human emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s talk about something I\u2019ve struggled with for years: judgment<\/strong>. Why do we let people judge us? More importantly, why do we let their judgment define us? If you\u2019re anything like me\u2014someone who grew up in an environment where validation was as rare as a unicorn sighting\u2014you probably understand how easy it is to fall into the trap of external validation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But here\u2019s the thing: letting others judge you isn\u2019t just frustrating; it\u2019s damaging to your mental health<\/strong>. It feeds self-doubt, anxiety, depression<\/strong>, and worst of all, it makes you feel like you\u2019re never enough. So, let\u2019s unpack this mess together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Origins of Our Need for Validation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve spent years wondering, Why do I care so much about what others think?<\/em> The answer is rooted deep in childhood experiences<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>1. Emotionally Distant Parents<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Growing up, my parents weren\u2019t exactly the \u201clet\u2019s sit and talk about your feelings\u201d type. Their emotional distance made me constantly crave approval<\/strong>\u2014because if I wasn\u2019t getting it at home, I had to seek it elsewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>2. Discouraging Environment & Toxic Relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A school full of judgmental peers? Check. Teachers who were more interested in pointing out my flaws<\/strong> than nurturing my talents? Double check. Add in some toxic friendships<\/strong> and relationships, and boom\u2014you\u2019ve got yourself a person who questions their every move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>3. Unwanted Challenges & Betrayals<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Life throws challenges at all of us, but when you\u2019re already struggling with self-esteem<\/strong>, every betrayal<\/strong> feels like a confirmation that you\u2019re not worthy. And that\u2019s a dangerous mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Problem with Letting Others Judge Us<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I used to think that if I just dressed better, spoke differently, or molded myself into whatever version of me people wanted, I\u2019d finally be accepted<\/strong>. Spoiler alert: It doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s why:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>1. It Fuels Anxiety & Depression<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When you constantly worry about what others think<\/strong>, your mental health takes a nosedive<\/strong>. You start overanalyzing every conversation, every outfit, every joke. It\u2019s exhausting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>2. It Makes You Question Your Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ever walked away from a toxic relationship<\/strong>, only to have that person come back to make you feel worse? Yeah, same. They act like they\u2019re doing you a favor by \u201cforgiving\u201d you, but really, they just want to gaslight<\/strong> you into believing you were the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>3. It Takes Away Your Authenticity<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I have a sarcastic sense of humor<\/strong>. It\u2019s my defense mechanism<\/strong>, and honestly, it\u2019s how I survive. But instead of appreciating it, people judged me for it. They wanted me to be softer, quieter, more agreeable. The more I tried to change myself<\/strong>, the more I lost sight of who I really was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>4. It Traps You in a Cycle of People-Pleasing<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Let me tell you something I wish I had learned earlier: No matter how much you change yourself, people will still find a reason to judge you.<\/strong> It\u2019s a never-ending cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Break Free from the Fear of Judgment<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Now, I won\u2019t lie to you\u2014it took me a long time to get here. But if you\u2019re tired of letting others dictate how you see yourself, here are some things that helped me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>1. Stop Seeking External Validation<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Easier said than done, right? But here\u2019s what I realized: Other people\u2019s opinions don\u2019t define my self-worth<\/strong>. Say it with me: I am enough.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>2. Recognize Gaslighting & Manipulation<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If someone makes you feel guilty<\/strong> for standing up for yourself, they\u2019re the problem, not you. Learn to spot toxic behavior<\/strong> and cut it off before it takes a toll on your mental health<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>3. Own Your Unique Personality<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When you have a dark sense of humor, own it. And you love wearing mismatched outfits, do it. If you enjoy being unapologetically yourself<\/strong>, don\u2019t let others shame you for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>4. Surround Yourself with the Right People<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t need a hundred fake friends. You need a few genuine ones<\/strong> who support you without judgment. Quality over quantity\u2014always.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>5. Therapy Helps (Seriously!)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Talking to a therapist<\/strong> was a game-changer for me. Sometimes, we need an outside perspective to help us unlearn the negative thought patterns<\/strong> we\u2019ve been carrying for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Final Verdict: Live for Yourself<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the truth: People will judge you no matter what. But you have a choice\u2014you can either let their judgment<\/strong> control you, or you can take control of your own narrative<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life is too short to live for others. “Be yourself<\/strong>“, <\/strong>“Be bold” and “Be unapologetically you”.<\/strong> And the next time someone tries to make you feel small, remember: their opinion is just that\u2014an opinion. It doesn\u2019t define you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So tell me\u2014what\u2019s one thing you\u2019ve stopped changing for others? Let\u2019s talk in the comments!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay strong,
 Rabs<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey, it\u2019s Rabs here\u2014back again with another deep dive into the messy, frustrating, and sometimes downright hilarious world of human emotions. Let\u2019s talk about something I\u2019ve struggled with for years: judgment. Why do we let people judge us? More importantly, why do we let their judgment define us? If you\u2019re anything like me\u2014someone who grew…<\/p>\n

Read More “Why Do We Let Others Judge Us & How It Damages Us?”<\/span> »<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":3851,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[264,388,118,305],"tags":[258,533,530,342,32,529,187,95,528,532,531],"ppma_author":[299],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Do We Let Others Judge Us & How It Damages Us? - Ruh-E-Mohabbat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Let\u2019s talk about something I\u2019ve struggled with for years: judgment. Why do we let people judge us? 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\u0915\u093f \u092f\u0947 \u091a\u0941\u092a\u094d\u092a\u0940 \u091a\u0941\u092d\u0924\u0940 \u0939\u0948 \u092e\u0941\u091d\u0947 \u092d\u092f \u0909\u0924\u094d\u092a\u0928\u094d\u0928 \u0915\u0930\u0924\u0940 \u0939\u0948, \u0909\u0938 \u092a\u0941\u0930\u093e\u0928\u0947 \u0916\u0902\u0921\u0939\u0930 \u0915\u0940 \u0924\u0930\u0939, \u091c\u094b \u0938\u0926\u093f\u092f\u094b\u0902 \u0938\u0947 \u0916\u0921\u093c\u093e, \u0905\u092e\u0942\u0915, \u0928\u093f: \u0936\u094d\u0935\u093e\u0938, \u0928\u093f: \u0936\u092c\u094d\u0926 \u0938\u092e\u093e\u090f \u0905\u092a\u0928\u0947 \u092d\u0940\u0924\u0930 \u0905\u0938\u0902\u0916\u094d\u092f \u0939\u0943\u0926\u092f \u0915\u0940 \u0935\u0947\u0926\u0928\u093e- \u0917\u093e\u0925\u093e ! \u0915\u0948\u0938\u0947 \u0938\u092e\u091d\u093e\u090a\u0902 \u0924\u0941\u092e\u094d\u0939\u0947\u0902? \u0915\u093f \u092a\u0932-\u092a\u0932\u00a0 \u0915\u0930\u0924\u0940 \u0939\u0942\u0902 \u092e\u0948\u0902 \u0924\u0941\u092e\u094d\u0939\u093e\u0930\u093e \u0907\u0902\u0924\u091c\u093c\u093e\u0930, \u0930\u093e\u0924 \u0915\u0940 \u0936\u0940\u0924\u0932\u0924\u093e \u0938\u0947\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Hindi Poetry"","img":{"alt_text":"Kaise Samjhaun Tumhe","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ruhemohabbat.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/rain-gfc4d3a158_640.jpg?fit=640%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3777,"url":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/articles\/anger-my-not-so-friendly-coping-mechanism-and-how-it-hurt-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":3849,"position":4},"title":"Anger: My Not-So-Friendly Coping Mechanism and How It Hurt Me","date":"\u095e\u0930\u0935\u0930\u0940 28, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"The Fuzzy Journal by Rabiya Nizam I\u2019ve always had a fiery streak\u2014quick to anger, quick to defend, and, unfortunately, quick to push people away. 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Welcome to my eclectic journal, a space where I unravel the unpredictable journey of life and explore how to cultivate an unshakeable spirit amidst the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Articles"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ruhemohabbat.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/woman-8024691_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdhWcG-105","authors":[{"term_id":299,"user_id":10,"is_guest":0,"slug":"rabiyanizam","display_name":"Rabiya Nizam","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e88fb8e16c3ea45c47b39cdfd49102e?s=96&d=mm&r=g","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3849"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3849"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3852,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3849\/revisions\/3852"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3849"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ruhemohabbat.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}